What is the most difficult thing you’re facing in your life right now? Are you facing:
- Career disappointment?
- Not reaching some goal?
- Criticism from someone?
- Credit Score?
- Lack of Money?
- Health Issue?
- Troubled Romantic Relationship?
- Troubled Friendship?
- Not Understanding Your Purpose? Your Calling?
In this life there are so many things that can make us feel covered and weighed down! It’s true for every one of us. There are times that we can feel burdened in such a way that in our prayers to God, we really are not sure that He will work it out. This is true for every one of us.
I want to encourage you to remember that His love for us is real. There are times when the solving of a problem take so long that we just don’t know what is going on! There are difficulties that make us believe that Our God has just walked away from us – even if just for a moment. But He Never Leaves Nor Forsakes Us!
We are human. We will sometimes feel uneasy. We will sometimes have fear. We might be stressed out. We might be sorrowful. The problems can bring us to fatigue, irritation and even distress. It is normal – there is nothing about you that makes you crazy!
The wonderful thing is that Our God is there and He would rather us lay our fear on Him no matter how you need to say it. I’m telling you that when you just say to God, “Father, I feel like you’ve left me?” or “Father, I am afraid of this issue and don’t see a solution!” He will speak to your heart. All you have to do is go to him honestly and lay it all at His feet. When you do this, your heart will remember the relationship that you have with Him as His child; as His workmanship; as His masterpiece! And your mind will calm down and return to trust.
There is an amazing power in your faith, in the power of your prayer! There is a joy and peace in drawing nearer to God in times like these that you would not find in any other way. I’m telling you, when you bring these issues to the throne of Our Father, where grace is constantly and leave them there, your heart will not continue in sadness and despair. No! You will have joy and comfort .. pleasure and peace!
His mercies are new every morning and those mercies hold your face in a place of reality. Faith in His mercy makes you remember your salvation from darkness and from difficulties. Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning. Just think about it for a moment … When you think about the amazing things that God has done for you in the past, you will begin to praise Him and rejoice – and suddenly the fear and doubt will die. He has done great things, bless His holy name!
Don’t feel like a weak believer when you have to face such feelings. Just remember, those who love and trust Him always – those who He has called into His service, are human. The only way to fight your fear is to cry out in a real way to The One who can do something about it all. Hallelujah!!
One more week since the last update and I’ll say again that I Did Not Have One Seizure!
We left Strasbourg and proceeded to Albertville via automobile to visit two more families. A favorite experience was with one of our MKs (missionary kids) who approached me and asked “OK, Aunt Jan … what is my name?” She was honored and happy when I answered Isabella. She had no complaint when I couldn’t remember her siblings name without a little help. LOL! Something to shout about!!
We were with a total of 4 couples (some with children) to carry out the roles of our job and I found great joy in all of it. I was happy to know them when I saw them; and not to be lost in my memory most of the time.
Headed back to the USA! We will fly out from Geneva, Switzerland where it is 38 degrees as I write this from inside!! I’m a Texan! Anything under the 50s is just too cold! LOL!
Two doctors visits as soon as I return; one with the neurologist and another with the neurosurgeon. The visits with The Lord have been impactful and truly health changing. I believe with no doubt at all that all is well … in fact, this Jan is even more amazing than that first one!
I started this particular surgical journey with a deep fear of the medicine that puts you to sleep for surgery … what do you call that? I just cannot remember it! I thought that I wouldn’t make it under just that medication. The Lord sent a woman, Etta, to walk and sing with me all the way into the surgery room and as we sang a song of praise I calmed myself. I woke up many hours later after a completed surgery in my right mind – may the Lord bless you Etta!! Etta found me when I went through the first surgery! As God works in our lives … it turns out that Etta and I are members of the same church family AND that Etta happens to know the surgeon AND that Etta is in management at the hospital where I’ve had to be. And neither of us knew one another until this journey started!
Another thing that happened as I was preparing me for this trip. I mentioned to a friend, Wessilee, that I was concerned about taking this bald head to Europe because I was updated that it was so cold. Just a few days before I got on that airplane Wessilee crocheted for me that orange hat that is on my head! I was warm … and quite cute too! LOL! Did I mention that I did not even know that she crocheted professionally until after I shared with her that I’d be cold! She asked me my favorite color and blessed me greatly!
My friends, this has happened quite a bit all the way through all of this. I pray that my words are so very clear … God has sent His love to me through every one of you!! You’re a gift from God to me … so, pour this love gift you have out everywhere you go! And for those of you who are having issues, share your hearts with others in the Body of Christ because Our Father will use them to bless you!
I have a wonderful husband, two loving (though bossy!) sons, a wise mom, a Godly sister, supporting cousins, etc. etc. and they have all just made their time available to care for me; they weren’t surprising, because I know they love me. But that wasn’t ALL!!! My church family blew my mind in their love and care – especially at moments that weren’t expected! My alto sisters from the worship ministry have been just wonderful! My friends that have known me a long time … they just left me speechless as they came to babysit me and did so much more! AND in amazing love The Lord sent me EVERY ONE OF YOU!! Each of you have sent me words of encouragement and responded to the blogs in a way that let me know I was not alone in the human life! Thank You!
Y’all we are children of God – those of us who are believers. We need to remember and accept that there will sometimes be difficulties for sure. But I’m telling you that even when trials that we face seem like they just might bring complete destruction, He promises that because we are His children – He will Be our covering! If you are His, He’s got you!! Y’all, he loves us and we are precious to Him. I’m believing Him, and claiming victory through Him in all of this.
Father, I have no doubt that these seizure issues never removed me from Your presence. In fact I have known at all times that I was with You! I knew that as I walked through all of the issues that followed the seizures they would not destroy my brain. The seizures would not remove my ability to do my job. The seizures would not remove my faith in You! I’ve known from the beginning of all of this, that every time that I had sense enough to cry out to You – You would hear me and with Your Greatness, You would do things that this human mind of mine could just never imagine!! You, only You, are my God! I love you, Lord! My love for You keeps me from ever doubting that You will protect me! I acknowledge You, Almighty God, at all times. I will call upon You no matter what I am facing because there is no doubt all that you will answer me. I know you are with me in this and in all things and I know that you will deliver me and that You will ensure that I know how to share this testimony for the rest of my life. Hallelujah!! I worship You and I love you beyond what I am able to express fully!! (Isaiah 43:2; Psalm 86: 7-10, 91: 14-15
Howdy from France!
Our first work stop was in the town of Strausbourg. It’s was cold for a Texan girl (just about 50 degrees and under) but I’ve got a jacket. I also have an orange hat that was crocheted for me by an amazing friend of mine (thank you Wessilee!). It’s been a little rainy so we had to get an umbrella; and, of course, I’m wearing my hat and there’s a hood on my jacket – so no complaints.
A few difficulties:
- I’ve had some headaches
- I’ll need to have some things with my eyes/vision checked out. My two eyes are very different from one another
- It seems that one of the medications make me very drowsy and dizzy.
- The vertigo is not gone
OK, family/friends – the list below is my testimony for the first part of the trip:
- God is good! God is faithful! God is powerful! God is merciful! God is gracious! God’s Healing Is REAL!
- We had effective and encouraging times with the two missionary families that we were here to meet with
- I am managing well and I’ve been able to live out my responsibilities in my role.
- I have been able to remember most things that are said to me; including names (SMILE)
- I have been able to communicate in ways that make sense (my funny vocabulary is just … funny)
- Not ONE Seizure!!! Not one!!! Not One! NOT ONE!!!
Y’all – this seizure trial has come for sure! But, my Father has already overcome it, which means I cannot worry! This trip overseas will be alright and I’ll be able to step back into my role 100% very soon because I LOVE Him; and because I am answering a call from Him! It’s all about Him and it is not always easy.
Keep praying! We took about 4 hours in 2 flights from Strausbourg and then drove about two hours to reach the next city.
I’m looking forward to sending you a new testimony. In fact, I’m looking forward to being a Jesus testimony to my doctor’s office. Wouldn’t it be just incredible to see people on the neurologic team come to know Jesus!?!?
Father I want to honor You with my whole life, and at the end, when I stand before Your judgment seat – I want to hear You say well done. I refuse to live a life rejecting the great plans that You have for me! I am embracing Your best for me and, by faith, I am committed to complete the task that You have placed before me! I commit to finish well. Lord, You have done Your part by redeeming me through the blood of Christ; and equipping me with Your Holy Spirit. I will not neglect my part to submit to the difficulties, the setbacks, the disappointments and the pain, NO! I will look ahead to the day when I’ll meet You face to face. I am determined to allow You, my Lord, to develop within me a heart that can stand. I am committed to ask You to move in Your power and ignite Your passion in me to live for Your pleasure and for ultimate joy! I won’t give out – I won’t give in! (1 Corinthians 6:20; Deuteronomy 6:5; 2 Corinthians 5:10; 2 Timothy 4:7; Acts 20:24; Philippians 3: 12 – 16)
I’m finishing week five and starting week six! Week six is the final actual surgery recovery!
For the very first time, I’m typing this on my own! Now I don’t know what will be mispelled and I’m sure my vocabulary will be … a little different. But I have just more to praise God for!
Here are the great improvements …
I am typing this myself! Hallelujah!!
I went to church on Sunday (Nov 11)! I was very, very blown away about God’s gift to me! So very grateful to be with my church family! As happy as I was on Sunday, there were many people that I saw but the names were not in my mind and there were some that I saw and did not recognize. I’m told by the medical team that this is normal and will continue to improve. It’ll be me and Joe’s amazing “Remembery” getting this finished.
Sunday evening I was able to go to a friend’s birthday celebration. Now I have to be honest, I went in the last hour when most were gone so that I wouldn’t have to interact with many besides her – LOL! Sitting and talking to less people was necessary. I couldn’t dance. I am grateful to my son, Joseph, for ensuring that I got to go because she is a friend of his too.
I’m understanding the things that I read. I do sometimes have to read things twice, but I’m grateful!
I’ve made a salad (it was really my own slaw) and I’ve baked some banana bread. The banana bread wasn’t my recipe but I’m so happy I did it – and I’ll remember my recipe as I keep baking!
I got my laundry done. I was able to easily sort it, wash it, dry it and fold it. I did put it away as well.
Keep praying for me!
- The part of the scar that’s nearer to my face still throbs. I’m told that this should end soon. They went into my brain cutting what looks like a large question mark – the top is on my face and the bottom is on the top front of my ear. I think you can see it on the picture, but my hair is growing back fast!
- I’m not yet comfortable talking on the phone. Somehow it is very difficult for me to fully understand everything.
- A huge difference is that I am crying quite heavily when I think of anything AND that I am quite directly honest with people even if it hurts them. I am hearing that this is not exactly like my previous personality.
A wonderful thing I am expecting is to cook with my mom for Thanksgiving. She has already told me that she’s 91 and won’t find it weird if I can’t remember something. LOL! She says my remembering and testing will be more like her. I love that lady who’s not quite old.
Y’all I do not have enough words to tell my amazing God how grateful I am!! He has been amazingly awesome!
Father God, the awesome things that you have done are many!!! Your thoughts towards me are amazing and I know that many cannot can even understand that it is You! I know that many can’t believe that You would do all that you have done for your child! Lord, I speak of all that you do for me every chance that I get but I’m too small to tell it all! If I had 10,000 tongues I’d praise you with every single one. What you do is too much for me to say because I’m just not big enough. I’m grateful, my God, to know that my love for you has allowed you to deliver me. I’m grateful because I know that as I acknowledge you as my God and my Father, you will protect me. I will always and every day call upon you knowing that you will answer me, you will be with me and you will deliver me. I love you, Lord, and I’m believing that You are absolutely everything I need! (Psalm 65:4: 95:14-15)